King Solomon’s Mines (H. Rider Haggard)

Sorry dudes, I give this one a thumb down.

Relatively boring story full of attitudes and manners that are objectionable to a modern and enlightened mind. Some parts are fun, and I guess I can see why this is a classic, but if you are a reader who chooses his material based on my recommendations, as I will be from now on, I’d give this one a pass.

Read The Lost World (Doyle) instead, if you’re in the mood for this kind of thing.

But I’ve heard good things about the movie…

First Encounter:
“King Solomon’s Mines” was a nonsense phrase that I’d heard a few times in my youth. Eventually I learned it was the name of a Blues Club but presumed it also referred to something more famous given the contexts I’d vaguely remembered hearing the phrase in. Sometime between childhood and 2017, when I read this book, but probably closer to 2017, I learned that this was a book, “The Most Amazing Book Ever Written,” by some accounts, and the title was a literal reference to Mines, specifically those of King Solomon.

Ape and Essence (Aldous Huxley)

I didn’t always appreciate (have enough knowledge to understand) Aldous’s vague learned references, for example:

A modern day Lord Cheshire would have defined this absurdist pre-modern zeitgeist as crudely as true Aristotelian Ethics demanded. One proverbial foot would be dangling into the pseudo-Homerian Garden of Lost Souls while another floated through Brunsweiller’s third symphonic gesture, allegory and all, with Lord Byronesque apathetic aspiration. As I looked upon the Arigulan Romantic with the caustic eye of Buber, I couldn’t help but flounder in my Voltairian sense of self-idealism and begin to hesitantly embrace a more Spinozian mysticism, philosophically decked out with the Categorical Imperative of Louis XV’s embittered Poirot.

Ok fine; that’s fake. But you could probably stick this into the next Huxley text I (for some reason) read and I would just nod my head while muttering, “Ahaha yes. Indeed… Lord Cheshire certainly would have deigned to commit such a mendacity!”

I thought the ending was pretty amusing, as was the fact that nearly the whole book was a screenplay, except for the very beginning about a couple of guys finding the screenplay and then being all, “Here’s the text of it:”.

First Encounter:
I purchased this book in a used bookshop in the basement of a Las Vegas library. I’d previously read (and not especially care for) some other Huxley, but I’m always willing to give well-regarded authors second and third chances, and I enjoyed owning old classics. I read the book before leaving Vegas.

The Darkness on Diamondia (A.E. Van Vogt)

The following is LITERALLY written on the “teaser” page of the book:

THE DIAMONDIAN PUZZLE

Given the following statements as premises

(1) If Colonel Charles Morton and Lieutenant Lester Bray are both a park of the darkness, and Isolina Ferraris does take the road to Damascus, and the Lositeen Weapon is released, the the D.A.R. building will fight the darkness, and
(2) If Captain James Marriot is self-seeking, or if Major Luftelet successfully maintains his pride, then the D.A.R. building does not fight for Morton

is it valid to conclude

(Q1) that if David Kirk becomes Colonel Morton, then (a) the Irsk and the Diamondians accept Morton’s peace terms, and (b) some Diamondian prostitutes become Colonel Morton
(Q2) that if Captain Marriott gains control, then (a) the Lositeen Weapon is zeroed out, and (b) Isolina Ferraris becomes Colonel Morton
(Q3) that if the D.A.R. building fights, then (a) the darkness survives, and (b) all men are Morton.

ANSWERS

(Q1) Yes (Q2) Yes (Q3) Yes

Consider yourself teased!

I defy even the most die-hard of problem solvers to become excited by this “puzzle.” Even after having read the book, this is still nearly unintelligible babble.

Like all Van Vogt novels, this book is full of incredible ideas and novel concepts, presented in a ridiculous fashion. Unfortunately, parts of it are nearly unreadable, except by the most patient and eccentric. Sadly, the teaser is a good representation of the experience of reading this book.

Looks promising, no?

First Encounter:
Found in my parents’ basement, this slim volume never attracted my attention until I began seeking out Van Vogt novels to read with my wife. We highly enjoyed The Weapon Shops books and I’d previously found much to love in other VV novels, but this self-caricature was a disappointment. Steer clear!

VALIS (Philip K. Dick)

Excerpt from VALIS footnotes

Philip K. Dick wrote wonderful short stories and novels, but VALIS is not one of them. Don’t waste your time reading VALIS, even though you love several other PKD novels. You’ll find it tedious and unengaging.

There are people out there whose opinions you respect who recommend VALIS for one reason or another. Most of those reasons are not compelling. If you stumble across one that is valid, then fine, go for it if you really want to, just don’t expect to have a great time.

I haven’t tried this yet, but I expect the best thing to do is just to read the Wikipedia article.